My name does not belong to me. It belongs to all of you. You’ve turned it into something else. I don’t know who it belongs to though. I thought it was his but just like her I was wrong. Another name is mine. I like this one better but I hate her for it. I never put much thought into it until today.
Parents are a shady bunch aren’t they?
Speaking of shade, I’m going to go find some.
Don’t shake your heads at me! Don’t you see what they’re doing?! They’re playing you like a fiddle. It’s all part of the game guys. All of it. They waited till now to release that footage. I knew they would. Do you think it changes any of the things I’ve said? I never claimed to be better than any of you! Never! You were all behind me 200% until you found out I did a little a blow. Smoked a little somethin. I lived life and if you think the stuff they showed you on this tape is something, you should see the stuff they DON’T have on tape!
How many times has some wrinkly fossil marched up here and promised you the moon and the stars only to deliver a half blown up Death star? I don’t promise anything I can’t do. I never said I was better than you. Hell I am you people! I am just like you. It’s time we stopped electing these phonies who have everything to hide and nothing to offer us! Let’s take our fucking planet back and now before there isn’t a single fucking tree to take shade under while we smoke a joint in the park! This is our home and these dinosaurs have got to go!
DIE DINOS DIE! DIE DINOS DIE! DIE DINOS DIE! DIE DINOS DIE!
I was in such a rush to catch my flight I had hardly noticed that I picked up the wrong laptop.. Yes it was black and covered in stickers but I picked up the wrong one and had noticed while I was 30,000 feet up and well on my way to the East Coast.
It snowed. It snowed a lot. It was beautiful. I took lots of pictures and I’m sure I looked just like those fucking tourists that I hate so much but I didn’t care. I hadn’t seen the snow since 5 years old and this time I was old enough to appreciate it so I did what any self respecting Californian would, I spent most of the day drinking and complaining about the cold weather. It was awesome.
My trip was a success and I was back on my way to La la land. A little too soon as always but nonetheless, it was time to go.
I touched down and Jessica was waiting for me at terminal 2. I got in her car and immediately I sensed that something was not quite right. She gave me a half smile when I told her about my trip and she seemed interested in what I was saying but there was something she was holding back and it was palpable.
“Who’s Stephanie?”, she asked sharply. “Stephanie?” “Don’t play with me Michael, you left your laptop lying around your room and I picked it up and put it in my bag while you showering before your flight.” I just knew this would come back to bite me in the ass. Stephanie was a girl I hooked up with during my cousin’s 21st birthday celebration in Las Vegas way back in 09’ I deleted her number and had been talking to her on and off solely through Facebook. We saw each other when the other person was in the other’s town. She was a Cali native but moved to Vegas to take a job managing a hotel. She was hot and well worth the trouble I was about to get into with Jessica.
I still couldn’t believe how stupid I had been though. We pulled up to my apartment complex and I half jokingly asked if she wanted to come up and she must’ve stared a hole straight through me. “I saw the messages Michael. You saw her didn’t you? Last month. You were with her!” I froze and stroked my beard for a moment, trying to think of a quick way to talk my way out of this one. Nothing was coming to mind. “Fuckin Facebook.” No! That’s all I could come up with? Come on brain! You have let me down. Oh well, that’s what I said and I got out of her car and grabbed my bag. She rolled the window down and said not to call her back.
I learned a valuable lesson though, always lock your computers when girls or girlfriends are lurking. Facebook is a silent killer but a killer still.
- M. L. Porter
And later on I will try to forget that I work at a desk all day where my sole responsibility is to enter data into a computer I’m sure has had at at least two good laughs at my expense today. I’ll be drunk on a merry-go-round in a mexican super market parking lot with a flask in my back pocket and nothing on my mind. Oh how I love black out Fridays.
Dirty Pants.
Dirty beard.
I have to pee.
I hate my dead end job.
26 years old.
A robot slave of sorts.
No inspiration.
No idea.
“Wake up Porter!”
“You can’t just sit here and do nothing all day….”
“Why not? You do nothing all day and get paid quite well to do it.”
“Stop day dreaming!”
“Get some emails done or else!”
I don’t want to live in reality anymore. Reality sucks. I’d rather live in dreams, they are real to me.
“What’d you say to me?!”
“Nothing”
“I’m going back to sleep.”
*Pulls hoodie over eyes*
“Wake me up when this shit gets fun!”
The inspiration for a character in an upcoming short.
